I know you're busy, what with launching new products, hunting down lost prototypes and waging war against our First Amendment rights. But if you could spare a few minutes, I would appreciate it if you would acknowledge that the Pages application for iPad is a worthless piece of crap.
You had to have known that the documents created on Pages were going to be incompatible with any other platforms, yet you released it anyway. Not only that, you promoted the Hell out of it, and then sold it for $9.99 a pop! It stands at #2 on your top grossing iPad apps. You must be so proud. Maybe you should expand this visionary concept into other product markets. Like auto manufacturing. Imagine how great all those suburban driveways would look sporting little iCars; sleek and white with their minimalist Apple design. They would be eco-friendly, too, because a slight glitch in the motor's design would cause it to shut off when the driver reaches the end of the driveway!
You're off to a great start on this concept with the Pages app. I created a fantastic looking resume with Pages, and yet for 3 months, it has sat idle in my iPad driveway. I can't send it in a readable format to any potential employer, unless they also happen to have an iPad, which is highly unlikely. As if my stalled career isn't bad enough, I've lost countless hours searching for possible workarounds. You could have easily saved me the hours of anguish by being up front about the app's shortcomings. I have an idea. Since you seem to be stretched pretty thin these days, why don't you just hire me? I have an awesome resume, and, like you, I'm highly skilled in the art of not fixing problems. Or maybe you could put me in charge of your iBait and Switch Department.
I would like to end this on a sentimental note. Remember back in the day when Apple customers were part of a unique Tribe? That was when you were still working for them, not the other way around. Now you've got yourself an empire complete with commoner subjects and dissension. Historically speaking, these things tend to end badly. You saw Braveheart, right? FREEEEE-DOMMMMMM.